Communication Theory: Interpersonal Deception Theory

18Sep08

Quick answer time (use the first response that pops into your head). Do you often use deception in your interpersonal communications?

Most of us will first answer “No” because we don’t like to think of ourselves as being deceitful. Honesty and truthfulness are traits that are highly valued within ourselves and in others. But take a moment and think about things again.

Each day when we arrive at work, most of us have at least one person (though frequently well more than one) ask us “How are you?” or some variation of it (i.e “How was your weekend?”, “How’s it going?”, “How’re you feeling?”, etc.). And generally our response is something along the lines of “I’m fine” or “It was great”. Then we change the subject by either asking the same type question to them or by moving the conversation directly into work (effectively re-focusing the topic to someone or something other than ourselves. Many times though the truthful answer is something else entirely. Perhaps we had an argument with our significant other or family. Maybe we are extremely stressed and worried about financial concerns. Whatever the reason is that we are in truth feeling something other than “fine” or “great”, rarely do we express anything different to those that ask at work.

Does this scenario sound familiar? How many times a week does this happen to you?

So why do we turn what is usually meant to be a polite greeting into deception? The specific reasons are endless and each situation is different. Researchers have found that we frequently make statements that are less than truthful due to one or more of the following reasons: To avoid hurting or offending someone, to emphasize our best qualities, to avoid conflict, and/or to alter the speed of a relationship. Most of us were taught that professionalism is a desirable trait. Our society generally expects us to be able to seperate our personal and professional lives and it is typically thought of as unprofessional for us to carry our personal problems into work with us. So rather than risk being thought of as unprofessional we automatically reply “I’m great, Jane. How are you?”

Now, I will give you a second chance.
Quick answer time (use the first response that pops into your head). Do you often
use deception in your interpersonal communications?